It's been a week. To some that may seem like a short amount of time but to me it's been the longest yet best week of my life. I've done things i never thought I would. I've felt things I never thought I would. And for the first time maybe ever I'm starting to actually like me. It's an amazing feeling. Spending time with myself has been great. Its always hard and a little weird at first but I'm learning to enjoy it and even look forward to it.
Now there's still pain. At this point in the cleanse I'm supposed to evaluate my pain level on a scale from 1-10. And honestly it fluctuates between a 6-7. I still have hard moments and sometimes those moments turn into hours. But it is way better then it was a week ago. And whats better is my crazy level is way down. I haven't had the urge to do anything crazy or turn my life into a Lifetime movie. And that is such an accomplishment!
This week I was also working on forgiveness. I read a lot of talks by general authorities, studied the scriptures and even found mention of forgiveness in my Patriarchal Blessing. I really wanted to work on forgiving myself as I believe this was the first step to loving myself. I really feel I did some work in this area. I'm going to continue to work on it even as I move onto my next characteristic tomorrow.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"
I'm really looking forward to this coming week. I've glanced over the exercises and they get a little harder emotionally. So while this will be difficult it will be so helpful. I'm so thankful I found this cleanse and that I was ready to really do it. I'm thankful for the love and support of my friends and family. Im thankful for my Heavenly Father and Savior. I couldn't do this without them. I would be completely lost. I'm a very lucky girl.
The nicest thing to happen to me today was watching fireworks with my family, especially my niece!
"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”- F. Scott Fitzgerald