Sunday, June 24, 2012

Day 22

Three weeks down one more to go!  For week four the focus is MOVING ON! Its time to get rid of the rest of the physical and psychological reminders once and for all. You do this by filling your calendar with fun activities that will make you laugh and have fun!

I'm going to be honest and say I'm still struggling with completely letting go and moving on.  Its no secret that I always thought I'd have my friendship at the end of this.  I just thought it would be a better healthier friendship.  I never thought that I would be trying to completely let go of any hope of any kind of a relationship.  And I still struggle with that.  There are days where I'm not totally onboard with letting go completely.  But I'm doing my best.

Now doing fun things this week should not be a problem.  I like having fun and today was no exception.  I spent the day at the Jacksons. I went to church with them in the morning.  And I had one of the most incredible spiritual experiences I've had in a long time.  I'm talking life changing.  And all from a 20 min talk, but it was incredible. Then after church we all had tacos. I LOVE tacos at the Jacksons!  After dinner we all just hung out, talked and napped.  As we were all sitting on the couch and ground I thought to myself this must be what true happiness is.  Your family all together talking and laughing. It really made my desire to get married and start a family even stronger.  I really want that.  Lazy Sunday afternoons with my family. I think that would be heaven on earth.  I know it feels that way when I'm at the Jacksons.  :) Later my mom came and got me and we drove back home to Provo.  I got to help her take care of my niece as my sister and brother in law are out of town.  I love my time with Mckenzi.  She makes me so happy.  All in all it has been a great day!

I'm really looking forward to week 4.  I hope that I can continue to learn and grow.  I'm truly amazed I've made it this far.  And the things I have learned and how far I've come these last 3 weeks is crazy!  And this time I mean crazy good!!  I'm truly proud of myself.  I can feel a change inside of me.  A real change.  Not a change for someone else or a temporary one but a real one!  And I know that when day 28 comes I won't be magically cured and all the hard work won't be over.  I'm just looking forward to continuing this process.

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