Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Day 10

"It was a mistake…but I don’t want to be judged for the rest of my life by my biggest mistake. People change, okay? They grow."

I saw this quote this morning online and I spent all day thinking about it. I've done a lot of things in my life I'm not proud of but I've pretty much accepted my mistakes and even been grateful for them because I felt they've made me who I am today. But the last few weeks, actually the last few months I've done things I've just flat out regretted. And about 3 weeks ago I made the worst choice ever. I was in a bad place. I wasn't thinking clearly. I was desperate. I was literally crazy and I did something I can never take back. What I did set in motion consequences I'm still dealing with.

Ive spent the last 10 days thinking about what I've done and working on forgiving myself. I am extremely sorry for what I did. It's been so hard. I hurt people I care about and I broke people's trust. But I've gotten to a place where I've forgiven myself. However I still need to apologize to the one person I hurt the most. But right now I don't think my apologies hold much weight with them. I don't think they would listen to me or believe me. So I'm going to continue to do this process & work on myself and hopefully at the end of the 28 days I'll get the chance to apologize and make it right. I really hope this person won't judge me by my worst mistake for the rest of my life. But if they do that's their choice. I'm choosing to forgive myself and let it go.